06-10-04

You are and always have been my everything

i got off the phone with a friend who i miss dearly. I haven’t talked to them in a long time and the last thing i remember is laying in there bed and the way my lips felt against theirs and the frustration i felt watching them get treated like dirt earlier in the day by another.

The conversation was awkward, wanting to tell them how i felt, how wonderful they were, how i wished i could be closer to them physically, emotionally, which ever way i could and wanting to tell them how they, where as no other has ever held a role in my fantasies, let alone a reacurrring one. I wanted to bring up the letter, packed somewhere in my boxes, to see if they still felt the same, still felt the same as when we rolled in the snow, still confused.

I couldn’t, and i didn’t and instead i heard them talk of the people in their lives both new and old, of current infactuations and i was not one of them, and i couldn’t tell them they were one of mine. And it ended in an odd sort of way, filled with awkward pauses and finally the kind of good bye that makes a person wonder if they would ever talk to the other again.

Remember you are always beautiful.