10-12-08

The System is Down

Pushing a cart through Target today, I look down at my wears: two kids and a dead bolt. I chuckled a bit our of sheer ironic exhaustion. “Danilo was right,” i told the girls, as if they had any idea of who I was talking about. “I am going to die alone behind a door of deadbolts, only you two are suppose to be cats.”

I gave up this week on a lot of what I have been dealing with. Bad contracts, moms not doing what they need, ppl not owning accounts, grudges against close friends…stupid superficial things that have nothing really relevant in life. But out of everything painful I have been confronting, the most resounding is the change in pace for D and I. A month or so ago, I gave him an ultimatum. He didn’t live up to his end, so I had to live up to mine. I changed the locks until further notice.

I didn’t really want to, I am just so tired, there really wasn’t much else to do. I can’t go into details about it all.