03-13-04

The neurotic undertones of the subtly sexaholic

Another gray, cold day in Pittsburgh, the clouds are parting over by the hills to the north and i can see some blue of the sky above. I hear Sujay’s words echoing through my head as turn my mind away from the ridiculous situation that has become the main worrues in my life (thank god its only thins). “Tumoultous relationships till you are 26,” he says peering at the lines on my hands. Now I realize perhaps he was right, how could i possibly change the fate written on my hand? These words quickly get replaced with Reg’s words of wisdom…the shortcomings of bret and the days of the devil slip slowly behind me. I wish i could say painlessly but that wouldn’t be quiet true.

Natalia asks me if i have a boyfriend last night at the restraunt. Um…friends but nothing sexual, i don’t know, how the hell am I suppose to answer. Here’s one, i just moved to Pittsburgh two months ago, when would i have time to meet anyone, who would i even want to be mixed up in a relationship with, why did that situation make my “no” seem like it was broadcast on a loud speaker? Not all of my life involves mixings with males, despite the past entries in this journal. But really, if its not making me neurotic why ruminate on things?

So on the non-dating side of life here’s alittle bit of whats happening. Baby Trent’s Birthday party is today, i am going back to New Brighton for the party.

La Strada is going well, i worked happy hour last night which was impossibly insane. I wish i could be on the other side of things… great shoes and fake friends, sigh. Made another 45 in coat checks last night, but you really cannot pay me enough to touch another fucking fur coat wreeking of cheap perfume. Was asked to do their website, which is extremely intimidating and pisses me off sort of. Because despite my months of geek therapy now i have to do the LaStrada website or else i would look like i don’t carew about the place, my job, ect. If i do La Strada’s website then i will get asked to do more websites and I AM NOT A FUCKING GEEK FOR CHRIST SAKE.

So now i am stuck learning asp not because i passionately want to but because i don’t want to have shitty code and bad designs. Wait, letme point out the paradox of this statement, perhaps the only time something like this will come up in the world… I need to learn asp and increase my geekness ten fold so i look good to Pittsburgh’s upper class? No, why do otherr women just get to dye their hair, their skin their nails and i have to troubleshoot frigging computers?

The Innovation Center is going well as well, another website on my list. They are increasing their property and need a promotional piece for the upcoming addition for prospective tenants. But Emily, the head of the private sector is wonderful and is going to introduce me to a lot of people. Delegates from Syria will be coming on Friday morning to learn more about entreuprenial oppurtunities. We take these kind of things for granted living here, but people from around the world come to the center to see what kind of things we are doing.

Picked up some books on marketing, Paulina asks why I am not in Public Relations, I wonder the same thing sometimes. Secretly looking into transferring again, Point Park has saturday accelerated classes in Business. So when i get another 30 credits i am seriously thinking of transferring. I will have a good foundation in design (oh wait, i already have a good foundation in design WTF AM I DOING HERE? getting ripped off.) before looking into it.

Sat in the computer lab for my only free time inbetween internship/school/work to help Matt scan. took me a few minutes to figure out their scanning program and get use to working on macs again, its been almost a year. surrounded by 5 guys, all watching me be a geek and swear at the computer, i can only imagine how entertaining i was…professional cute chick flicking off the screen with both hands, how did i find myself in this situation again? remember…geek rehab? does it not mean anything to anybody?

Professor told me she like my ad, but it looked like soft porn, took it as an insult after firing back at her…well yeah, thats the point. Sex sales, why make it subtle? Actually alot of my work has a blatant sexual undertone anymore, i am in a very sexual phase of my life again, considering i am not getting any i find it a marvel. Clinton, Scott and Matt called last night, i am not going to return any phone calls until next week except to Beth. I just don’t feel like dealing with it, i need a weekend vacation. It’s snowing again…