10-14-08

Look on the Sunny Side… There’s Still the Other Leg

I don’t know how much more of this day I could handle. I ponder the impending doom of my sanity as I lay here on my sofa with my leg propped up, ankle swollen, knee and hip protesting. Apparently they don’t get the kicks we use to get when we threw ourselves down the stairs when we were younger. The difference, of course is that then it was fun, sled riding polyester carpeting in an equally slick sleeping bag. This time, it wasn’t.

I was running from my panic filled bedroom, down the stairs to try to escape, grab more coffee and a breath of fresh air before I broke down in tears. I didn’t catch the step right and fell on my ass, my ankle taking most of the force. My coffee cup clutched in my hand, I dropped it as my mind processed “it’s you or the cup, baby” and even as I was letting go, I had pictures of it shattering and my heart melted thinking “there goes my favorite cup.” To my surprise, it landed on the stair below and sat there, cold coffee and soy rising up to the ceiling like a geyser leaving a gorgeous design across the walls.

Everything ok in the ceramic end, I lay my head down on the beige carpet as my Achilles heel cramped in revolt. “I can’t take much more of this” tear rolls down.

“Can I get you anything” asks D?

“A gun” I cry.

Personally with D and I’s relationship in limbo, counseling on the horizon; my grandmother’s leukemia (update: she bought a new wig the other day, super happy with it); and my daughter’s first birthday I had been too busy to even plan a party for mixed with the ass load of hours at work, taking on about half of my sales rep’s job, the unanswered emails and everything else, I am honestly not sure there is enough coffee to get me through this mess.

The coffee will stay on the wall until Nov., when I take the first weekend to paint the walls a non-destructible, kid friendly paint and pull the stains out with a carpet cleaner. Until then they will blend in delightfully with all the other stains and spots in the house.