04-09-04

let me tell you a thing about baseball players…

…their uniforms do nothing for them. I was sitting at La Strada today thinking about GM Joe. I looked him in the eyes today while i was talking to him, which is a dangerous thing for me to do. Pity he doesn’t have an accent or much of an ass i thought to myself. And so god, the all hearing, was listening in on my thoughts because through the door walked a beautiful, tall, dark handsome gentlemen.

and then he opened his mouth, saying he would show himself to the bar in one of the most sexy spanish accents i had ever heard. He looked like a cross between GM Joe and Colin Farrel.

I watched him at the bar, he had even better fashion sense than GM Joe, if you can believe it, but i suppose making $305,000 a year allows for such extravegancies. So how do i know this is how much he makes a year? Because he was none other than Oliver Perez, pitcher for the Pirates. This kid is a year older than i and making more money than my mind allows me to process for fear of break down. And to think i just got done having a fit about not being as financially stable as i want to be at this point in my life and in walks this little boy who makes more than i will ever see in my life. In fact he makes a hundred precent more than i do…and now i am depressed and going to spend the last of my coat check money on cheap wine and brie.