11-28-08

Hipsters! Hide!

Hipsters, originally uploaded by TravelingMango.

Once, Laur made an off handed, snide comment about hipsters…possibly eluding to the fact that we may be hipsters.

S: Eff you laur, you heinous bitch. The end.

Months later, I still have to ask D:

S: D, Does this make me look hipster?

D: No Shell

Months, months later the paranoia increases at an alarming rate, and finally I scour the internets looking for the solution to the problem:

Was Laur or was Laur not being a heinous bitch in claiming I was a, gasp, Hipster.

Then I stumbled on hipster clues and began to get angry that I fell into a few of those, ok, the first four of those categories.

Depressed, I put on my very gold ballet flats, my vintage trench and went for a walk.

That’s when it happened: the solution. 5’6″ of hipster goodness came scowling down the sidewalk passed me. Skinny Jeans, crappy ass top straight from the eighties and big effin’ sunglasses in a pale color that accomplished approximately zilch in the blockage department…in that it protected me not from the scorn she shoot me when I very happily, almost all too excitedly said:

S: Hi

Translations: OMG! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for proving to me that I am indeed only half way in love with a heinous bitch who often confuses scotch with whimsy and NOT a hipster.

As she passed I pulled out my imaginary sword, spun on D and:

S: Ah! A duel, she challenges my uber hipster status! Avenge ye!

So in a totally unrelated instance, I got lost in a pmog search (ok, distracted when we crossed the Girls Next Door site which somehow winded me up on adbusters (don’t get me started, hypocrites) and to this little ditty on hipsters. Which led to this little ditty which led to this little ditty because I only got to the first sentence about “Chloë Sevigny fellated Vincent Gallo” and I got distracted…sort of like the shoes over the electric wire that caught me away from yelling at D. Distracted.

Fellated in paradise (because, really, just the word sounds like a happy state? No? Or wait, “elated”?),

~Shell

(p.s. in case you missed the sarcasm between the lines, it’s there…look harder. It’s all bull)