09-26-05

Happy Shiny Flowers and Explosive Poop

Walking through wal-mart the other day, David and I made our way through the toy aisles in our respected fashions… He walking and I waddeling. As we were doing so it dawned on me that what we were doing was not merely birthday present shopping, but our initiation into a new cult, parenthood. And so the hazing process took the form of a pooh water baby, a heffalump book, a wireless playstation remote and a package of batteries. The party was good, my stomach was being introduced as the third member of or family, so I guess there is no hiding it anymore.

And we finally decided on the theme for the nursery. Disgusted with the pinks and yellows and bears and flowers and licensed corporate character whores of the modern day baby abode, as well as the outrageous price tags (I’m sorry, did you say $500?), I’ve decided to make the nursery bedding. Not only could I not justify spending even $100 on an over glorified explosive pooh catcher, I couldn’t find anything remotely resembling something I could live with. Walking into a nursery at three in the morning to a screaming baby is difficult in its own, walking into a nursery at three a.m. filled with prozac manifested flowers and sail boats in all their faux hand stitched, chinese imported glory, mocking the situation would make me even more neurotic. And so, at $40 and some free time, we have something david and I can agree upon and the baby can poop on guilt free.

We have decided to drop Sage as the girl’s name and just use Solaris if it is Boy or Girl. Solaris Nicholias Albury or Solaris Lodovica Albury.