03-24-04

pants

i went shopping today at lazarus-macy’s and because they are going out of business everything was dirt cheap. I went in looking to spend 20 dollars on a new black shirt, i came out having spent 14 on a new black shirt on a pair of pants. you do the math. Now its this pair of pants that i am going to write about tonight.

Never before have i ever picked up piece of clothing and thought about sex until i picked up these pants. Even with my corset it was about how hot i would look in it (ok, this was three years ago, work with the shallowness a bit and lay off). But today i picked up these pants, with their millions of pockets (to stick things in) and their billions of straps and thought…someone give me a futon or a ratatan chair, please, now… because wow.

These pants are black and super soft, plus they have all these fun playthings…like a straight jacket, i know i shouldn’t mention straight jackets when i am trying to convince you of the sexiness of my pants, but its a risk i am willing to take. (oh, and if you are the kind of person who can find eroticism in straight jackets call me, we would get along fine, jk). But seriously, the first thing i thought when i touched it, which was me tugging one of the straps was of some yummy faceless guy pulling my strap closer to him, which of course would pull the rest of the me attached to the strap closer to him AND all the focus would be on that region where my pants are. yum.

I looked at the price and decided to buy myself a pair. I have also decided that i need to go looking for trouble tomorrow because i am writng a blog entry on a pair of pants.

So tomorrow my goal is to take steps towards finding me a yummy stranger in a suit. Inorder to achieve this goal i will (1.) track down yummy strangers in suits and (2.) talk to them. I use to do worksheets on goal setting like these a long time ago, they were never this fun though. They were more along the lines of i will ask for something i want to day (assertivenes), ect. But i am much better at that now…I will have a yummy boy in a suit to roll around in my pants with me, please.

03-24-04

gonna wash that boy right out of my hair

I couldn’t shake the devil, i tried but i couldn’t. So yesterday i wondered around downtown and hit a few of my favorite places…barnes and nobles, starbucks, the wine store and my newest favorite place…the exchange, a used CD shop on forbes avenue with prices to die for. So i came home with a bottle of merlot and a few of my favorite people, ella fitzgerald and harry connick Jr who is absolutely a doll.

so i spent last night drinking him away. I would say it was relatively successful, this morning he was definetly replaced by a slightly large hangover and this afternoon on the bridge i was stopped by a lovely little boy with a cross tattoo on his face asking for my number. So i suppose I have a new ritual for getting rid of skeevy boy vibes, i mean i attract new ones but atleast the old ones are gone. Sorry sweeti, i’ve learned my lesson, so i had him hold my baklava (mmm, baklava, from a little greek joint on 6th Street, the least expensive of the two facing eachother which had wonderful spinach pie but slightly depressing wedding soup) and quickly scribbled down my un-digits for him. Opps, my first wrong number. I feel dirty for lying but i could hardly say no to a voice like his.

work was wonderful, the spanish chef is helping me with my spanish by having random conversations with me throughout the day. I felt bad about snapping on the head chef a few days ago but he seemed to like it because he constantly pesters me to smile so i have made a hobby out of being a smartass to him. I am starting to be less intimidated by todd, and his fiance is precious, i talked to her on the phone today and she called me sweeti. I met one of the brothers family today, they were adorable and down to earth which was refreshing. 30 dollars in coat check and i got hit on by a business guy who stood just a bit too close.

I need to learn the art of picking up boys on the street, the possibilities would be amazingly endless. Just have to watch for the ring.